Another drop in the Ocean
Day 8
I felt the most satisfied with my life when i won an award in third grade for perfect attendance :D
Thats…lame…but true. I got seven awards that year for perfect attendance, straight A’s, best gym participant, most helpful, teachers pet, best Halloween pumpkin, and an award for passing the grade.
So yeah thats the most satisfied ive been with my life.
Day 7: Last one and im all caught up
My birthday is June 1st so im a Gemini. I actually have never looked up my sign before but i thinks its funny because it actually does sound like me. The stone of my sign is aquamarine which kind of fits into the beach theme and i love the beach. The life pursuit of my sign is the explore a little bit of everything and i have. I study all types of things from religion to sports.
It says that we are good writers and like to learn different languages. I can speak French, Spanish, Portuguese and German. I also write allot. Weather or not its good is another thing,
So yeah i guess my zodiac sign does sound like me.
Day 6
Interesting facts about me:
1. My favorite color is blue.
2. I love the beach
3. My natural hair color is black.
4. My eyes are blue.
5. I learned how to skateboard when i was 11
6. Ive broken 3 bones
7. Ive had 2 girlfriends
8. Im an honor student
9. I play fullback/running back
10. My football jersey number is 13 (my favorite number)
11. Ive been to Italy, London, Paris, and Egypt
12. I once bought a big pack of candy bars (they were full sized candy bars for Halloween And i ate them all before i could give them away
13. I can fix cars
14. I learned how to play the Piano blind folded
15. Im 5 ft 11
16. I own over 50 hats
17. I have 30 pairs of shoes exactly
18. My closet is arranged by color
19. I used to be an altar boy
20. I learned how to drive when i was 14
21. I have 7 hamsters, 2 bunnies, three dogs, and 3 cats.
22. I love brisk iced tea.
23. I can fit 13 marshmallows in my mouth
24. I have 2 tattoos 1 on my upper back and 1 on my leg
25. Im pan sexual
26. I asked for a sword for my birthday
27. I used to be a big fan of Justin Bieber
28. I own a 1964 Ford Thunderbird in black
29. Ive gotten Jim Careys autograph
30. Ive been to a morgue
Day 5
There are allot of times when i think about taking my life. Ive had these thoughts for years sense i was 12 and now im 18. I have depression, clinical depression and depression sucks. I never want to do anything, i have no interest in anything, i see the darker side of life because i have no hope that theres a bright side. I have anxiety too. Thats even worse. Im afraid to go outside because im scared im going to be bullied. Im always called a fag, a loser, im called emo too. Just because i like to wear Black and skateboard.
The first time i tried to kill myself i was 13. I had gotten home from school, bad that day at school was terrible. I had to sit in the front back then because my mom wanted me to pay attention only to the teacher. So kids had the chance to throw paper balls in my hair, crack jokes about me behind my back, literally. I was beaten up everyday after school. I remember that was the year that i came out to my best friend and he told everyone. My life was hell.
So i got home and my parents were out like always. I went to my room wrote a note and went into our medicine cabinet pulled out my moms pills, my dads pill and i mixed them and took as many as i could. I actually died for like 2 minutes and the doctors said it was a miracle that i had no brain damage. But when i was dead i remember seeing a really bright light. Like when some dicks behind you when your driving and they have there high beams on. And then there was this tunnel except it was like…it was sucking me further in, and i saw my grandparents. My little sister who died when she was just a baby, and a man. I didnt know who he was. I still dont. Im not sure. But before i got close enough to see his face i was brought back and i was on a table at the hospital.
I was put into a mental hospital, my parents had to lock up the pills and i was looked at as a freak by my parents.
I started working out my freshman year of high school because i was sick of being the little kid everyone made in fun of. By Sophomore year i had a few muscles but not many. People stopped calling me scrawny. Girls started liking me. I joined football. And i stayed back.
Last year things got bad again. I was in a serious relationship with this girl and i was in love with her. I had just started to get i guess what you call popular. I had tons of friends, and i was happy. But she ended up leaving me and sure there were other girls i couldve been with but i loved her. So i started cutting myself.
The first time i cut it was scary. I remember holding the knife anxious to do it and when i finally did it and i saw the blood i started to panic. I had a lump in my throat and i was scared i was going to bleed to death. So i ran to the bathroom put my arm under the sink water and just stood there for about 30 minutes.
I still cut myself but its not as bad as it was. The first few times i did it, was deep. Allot of blood. Then over time i stopped making it that deep and just scratched myself until blood showed.
I was in a very dark place then and im trying to get out of it still. Im not suicidal but in all ive had three attempts. The second attempt was when i was 15 and that was because of bullying and the third attempt was because of the girl.
Day 4: I missed some days D: But ill catch up.
My views on religion are sort of mixed. For one im Christian/Catholic which is a pretty normal religion if you asked me. The most interesting religions to me are Greek/Roman, Egyptian, and Norse. Ive always been interested in the Greek Gods. I have countless notebooks filled with notes about every myth or legend from Greek Mythology. Egyptian culture, too, is pretty awesome. The way they built shrines for there kings and queens amazes me. There not the only culture to do so, Greek, Mayan and a bunch of others did too but i mean they put so much effort into these pyramids. Secrets rooms, death traps, hidden corpses.
All religions interest me and i do believe in God. I believe in angels, i believe in an afterlife, i believe in purgatory, and i believe in hell.
What i dont believe in though is judgement based on your religion. The best example i can provide of this is the Islamic culture. People think because someone is part of that religion there going to kill someone. Its just unbelievable. There have been accounts of people killing things because they claim Angels tell them to, but they dont put the same label on Christians?
Every religion in its history has some form of sacrificial ceremony in order to please there Gods. Putting a label on one culture because of one man ( Osama Bin Laden) is not ok!
Hell, Wiccans and Pagans are known for murdering infants to gain prosperity. I think people need to realize something. You cant call out one religion without calling out all religions.